Two cows are eating grass in the paddock when a Porsche drives past and a guy leans out the window and shouts out "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
One cow turns to the other and says, "wow that cow is doing alright for itself."
Jokes
Re: Jokes
Three women are in the locker room, getting read to play racquetball when a masked man runs in, stark naked with his dick flopping around.
The first woman looks at his dick and says "Well, that's certainly not my husband."
The second woman says "No, it certainly isn't."
The third woman says "That guy's not even a member of this club!"
The first woman looks at his dick and says "Well, that's certainly not my husband."
The second woman says "No, it certainly isn't."
The third woman says "That guy's not even a member of this club!"
Re: Jokes
Three vampires walk into a bar. One orders a blood on the rocks. Another orders a double blood. The third simply asks for a mug of hot water.
"Why didn't you order blood like everyone else?" asks the bartender.
The vampire pulls out a tampon and says, "I'm making tea!"
"Why didn't you order blood like everyone else?" asks the bartender.
The vampire pulls out a tampon and says, "I'm making tea!"
Re: Jokes
Right then here's my contribution for this week.
A man goes into a bar and says, "Give me a drink before the trouble starts." And the bartender pours him a drink. He drinks it and says, "Give me another drink before the trouble starts." He downs that one and says quotation mark, give me another drink before the trouble starts." Finally, the bartender asks, "Just when is this trouble going to start?" The man says, "The trouble starts just as soon as I tell you that I don't have any money."
A man goes into a bar and says, "Give me a drink before the trouble starts." And the bartender pours him a drink. He drinks it and says, "Give me another drink before the trouble starts." He downs that one and says quotation mark, give me another drink before the trouble starts." Finally, the bartender asks, "Just when is this trouble going to start?" The man says, "The trouble starts just as soon as I tell you that I don't have any money."
Re: Jokes
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.
The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father."
The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that."
The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of many."
The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!"
The priest, getting impatient, said. "I am the Father of hundreds", and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear a condom and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar."
The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father."
The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that."
The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of many."
The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!"
The priest, getting impatient, said. "I am the Father of hundreds", and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear a condom and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar."
-
Dirk Pitt
- First Lieutenant
- Posts: 1294
- Joined: Mon Jun 04, 2007 7:04 pm
- Location: USS Costaguana/ Houston Texas
- Contact:
Re: Jokes
A man walks into a bar and orders 10 martinis. The bartender sets them up and the man starts to drink them one after the other. After the man finishes four the bartender asks his what he is Celebrating. My first blow job the man answers. downing another drink. The bartender tells the man that if he finishes the ten martinis the next one is on him. The man looks at the bartender and says....
If ten martinis won't get this taste out of my mouth I dont think eleven will do any better.
If ten martinis won't get this taste out of my mouth I dont think eleven will do any better.